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The gush woke me up. My eyes shot open, and adrenaline quickly traveled to each corner of my body. When it reached my chest, my heart squeezed and went into rapid rhythm. I turned to nudge Stuart. “Babe,” I said as I kept nudging. “Babe…I just felt a huge gush.” His eyes opened slowly as he […]
When you lose a baby, there is this shadow. There is this darkness you inherit. Sometimes it fades into the background of your life, but sometimes, it does come back. When I got a positive pregnancy test on June 7th, I bit my lip hard between my teeth and held it there while I stared into […]
I cannot tell you how many crazy looks I’ve gotten and the comments I’ve heard when people find out we’re a cloth diapering family. Eyes roll. Laughter ensues. Women look at their husbands and say, “No way, not for us; it’s too much work.” Or, “Ew that’s so gross.” “More laundry? No thanks.” “You put poop in […]
~ This is a continuation of Part 2 ~ I didn’t look at the needle. I knew what it looked like. Instead, I buried my head in my husband’s shirt, bent forward, and gripped his biceps with my cold, fragile hands, desperately trying to stop my body’s convulsions–convulsions from being famished, from running on 42 hours […]
~ This is a continuation of Part 1 ~ It was the corner room. It was the same room used during our tour of the hospital. It was stale and bland, as expected. It was nothing special, even though it was about to become center stage for the most beautiful show of life: the birth of […]
I wanted to feel nothing. As I plunged my hands into a bowl full of ice water, I remembered in high school when I electively took ice baths after track practice and how the shocking, debilitating cold almost urged me to vomit. This was different. This was worse. I needed my hands numb. I needed to […]
Welcome to Team Fluff Bum. If you’re still waffling on the idea of cloth diapering your babe, I understand; it’s a big decision, and there are a lot of pros and (some) cons. And the research…uffda! It can be seriously overwhelming; I’ve been there. Do not let it discourage you! For me, the pros have […]
You’re expecting. YAY! Getting prepared for baby’s arrival is mostly exciting and a tad overwhelming, filled with decorating the nursery, reading all those “what to expect” books (or not reading them), and mentally wrapping your mind around what parenthood will bring. But you know what you can’t prepare for? Getting a heck of a lot of […]
Every winter, I’m reminded of you. Every winter, I’ve been missing you. It’s taken me years to write this, but I’ve been writing…I’ve been writing your story, our story. And now that winter is turning to spring, the ice has thawed and vanished, and the air has lost its bite, I feel that I can […]
Every winter, I’m reminded of you. Every winter, I find myself missing you again. It’s taken me years to write this, but I’ve been doing it…I’ve been writing. So many times I’ve had to walk away from it, but I always come back. I always come back to you. I’ve been writing your story. This is for […]
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